Whether or not it is occasionally helpful, it is clear that many instances of conflict are harmful. At its core, conflict avoidance is people pleasing due to a deeply ingrained fear of hurting or upsetting other people if you express your true feelings. This type of codependency leads to feelings of resentment and loneliness and ultimately hurts you and your relationships. Whether you’ve got a partner who’s conflict avoidant or you’re dealing with your own conflict avoidance, I’ll walk you through my best tips for dealing with it. Use clear communication strategies to resolve workplace conflict (e.g., set expectations, respect personal differences, and use active listening skills, neutral terms and open body language).

What do you call someone who likes to avoid conflict?

If you are a pacifist, you avoid physical confrontations. The beliefs and actions of peacemakers can also be described as pacifist, as in someone whose pacifist beliefs lead him to take part in nonviolent protests against a war.

As the name suggests, this conflict management style is keen to negotiate a mutually beneficial solution when a conflict in the workplace arises. They don’t avoid conflict, but they also don’t go into a disagreement with a win-at-all-cost mentality.

Conflict Management

But if you ask a government employee about their conflict style, it’s much less likely they can talk about their tendencies and predilections around tension. Read the definition of avoidance-avoidance conflict in psychology and see examples of this type of conflict.

From his investigations on approach-approach conflict, he noted that there were situations in people’s lives where they experienced moments of indecision due to encountering two pleasant choices. The opposing forces within a person can also be between something desirable and undesirable and two undesirable things.

Exploring Relationship Dynamics

This can include the desire to avoid things like household chores or demanding tasks at work. The term avoidance on its own describes those times people actively try to stay away from certain choices, activities, or situations to prevent any negative feelings or consequences. When faced with a difficult choice, a person might use the concept of avoidance as a default decision, since avoiding a decision is sometimes easier than facing it. However, avoidance-avoidance conflict can sometimes have a positive effect on decision-making tactics.

  • There is open communication as the focus is on both parties forgoing something to resolve the conflict.
  • Anyone can see the possible four characteristics of a high-conflict personality listed at the start of this article.
  • And if friends disagree on a minor issue, they may end their friendships on the spot – anall-or-nothing solution.
  • The other line of thought suggests that conflict distracts from the immediate tasks and wastes resources on conflict resolution.
  • Their emotions are often way out of proportion to the issue being discussed.

Validating the person with whom you are in conflict can be an effective way to deescalate conflict. Often validation can be as simple as demonstrating good listening skills discussed earlier in this book by making eye contact and giving verbal and nonverbal back-channel cues like saying “mmm-hmm” or nodding your head . An accommodating conflict management style is used when you set aside your own wants or needs and focus on those of others.

Address issues immediately and openly.

D’Shaun’s behind-the-scenes money giving or Rosa’s confiscation of the ATM card could lead to built-up negative emotions that could further test their relationship. While there are some generalizations we can make about culture and conflict, it is better to look at more specific patterns of how interpersonal communication and conflict management are related. We can better understand some of the cultural differences in conflict management by further examining the concept offace. Conflict management style indicates a low concern for self and a high concern for other and is often viewed as passive or submissive, in that someone complies with or obliges another without providing personal input. The context for and motivation behind accommodating play an important role in whether or not it is an appropriate strategy.

how to approach a person who prefers avoiding conflicts

Research does show that there is intergenerational transmission of traits related to conflict management. As children, we test out different conflict resolution styles we observe in our families with our parents and siblings.

What is conflict management?

After creating a mutually agreed upon definition, the next step is to brainstorm possible solutions to the conflict. If possible, these solutions should address the needs of all parties involved. Common mistakes to avoid are trying to soften the message by mixing it with complimentary statements or using an overly familiar tone of voice initially how to deal with someone who avoids conflict before addressing the problem. Most people feel they are being manipulated or treated dishonestly when the messages are mixed. Inappropriate humor or comments disrupt the rapport needed for a safe environment. Another common error is using nonverbal hints or subtle comments with the belief they can successfully address a conflict.

how to approach a person who prefers avoiding conflicts

Improving your competence in dealing with conflict can yield positive effects in the real world. Since conflict is present in our personal and professional lives, the ability to manage conflict and negotiate desirable outcomes can help us be more successful at both. Whether you and your partner are trying to decide what brand of flat-screen television to buy or discussing the upcoming political election with your mother, the potential for conflict is present. In professional settings, the ability to engage in conflict management, sometimes called conflict resolution, is a necessary and valued skill. However, many professionals do not receive training in conflict management even though they are expected to do it as part of their job .

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